My dearest dear,
I’m writing to tender my resignation to you. I do it with a heavy heart. I appreciate the opportunity of being your wife, and with the greatest reluctance, I decided to leave the place where I have lived for the last seven years. Serve as the wife to the man I loved and still love was a dream job. I shared joys and tears, praised and humored with you, and I dedicated my body and soul to create a world of ourselves. My faith in our home was the source of inspiration for me.
I still remember the wedding day when I made “till death do us apart” vow, how I was excited about our future. I liked to wake up every morning to see your smile; I liked to exchange gossip with you; and even discussing heatedly over some tiny issues seemed to be so fun! But after seven years of marriage, things have changed. Time was supposed to enhance our mutual understanding, and it was supposed to make us stay closer. But perhaps I am too childish to register the signs of “seven years itch”. I didn’t know since when our life has become stale, and since when we haven’t talked much. The kindle, we once so prided with, seemed to be dying.
It is inevitable that during seven years service I would become more cynical and frustrated about so-called “Equality rules” and “unfairness” in marriage. In the old times, I really enjoyed the chore and every household project. Clumsy as we were, we worked together to make things done. We teased each other about the mistakes we had made, and made loads of fun out of them. I felt elated when you said how pretty I was in apron. I was happy to see you take meals contentedly no matter how terrible the cook was. But it’s all my responsibility now. You refused to take the share of household chores because it is not manly. Further more, you constantly remind me that how the other wives cable of doing housework when I failed to tidy the rooms or something like that. While the family loads the work on one and the honor on the other; while endeavor couldn’t be recognized and appreciated, you can’t help but feeling distrustful, disloyal and cynical.
Things have become worse when our son has born. Raising a child is a lifelong project for us, and it needs our concerted efforts to be done. But for you he is more like a toy to play with. You are around with him when he is a happy, adorable baby, but push him away whenever he becomes fussy and crank. I was not born to calm down a crying baby, and it’s still a learning process for me. We need time to bond with our son one-on-one so that we could build up our competences in parenting. But now incompetence becomes the excuse of shying off responsibilities, while too much work, too little time make the capable one feel overwhelmed and burnout.
Do you still remember the teambuilding we used to engage in? We had so much fun together. I was happy because I felt involved, acknowledged and there was really great cohesiveness and tenderness. But now I am always left behind with our son when you are out with your friends. No more celebration for birthday, commemorative day and V-day because you regard them as total waste. Friends come first because they can help when you are in need. But what’s about all my efforts to take care of you and the family? Why suddenly I have become someone who could be conveniently ignored?
I am resigning because I have tired and failed to assess my fit with this job no longer. It takes two to fail a relationship. I admit that I have played my part. With all these bitter thoughts, I have become the one I despised the most. My engagingness must have tested your tolerance too. So I need some time to rest and think about our future.
Yours sincerely
|